✝Strain✝

In the silence of my heart I fail to avoid
Time and time again it just comes back
A lullaby of all misses resounds endlessly
But whenever it calls my heart just relent.

Embraced by the serenity of the night sky
Flowing from within was what has been bottled
Behind the façade of all sorts of smiles
Hides the pain of this vulnerable heart.

When will this ever stop I cried out so
Inflicting more pain and longing than it has
Left with a undying string of connection
Ever considering if severity would be the best.

Gracefully I pray for the stars to stay watch
‘Cause moments of such darkness scares me
More than I asked for: the beauty of the moon
As the clouds clears its way off from vagueness.

Memories exist for all my precious days
Deep inside me somewhere I want to keep
With all having within your own comfort
Has it already been assumed to be for you?

In oblivion ever thought all would be going fine
Yet revelation of truth gets so crystal clear:
The fact of living in a difference of two worlds
Despite trying with all strength and heart.

After a test of being in a place of two arenas
Finally I realized my belonging was totally lost
Beginning to fear the many scenes of falsity
How would everything turn out to be eventually?

✝Tears of Assurance✝

<Jeremiah 29:11-14a>
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD,

<Psalm 94:18-19>
When I said, "My foot is slipping,"
your love, O LORD, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought joy to my soul.

✝Divine✝

The toil of loneliness having to carry such aimless direction, painful misses has finally been overwhelmed.
Always trying so hard to press on, to hold on, and even not to think too much and put on a front to smile and laugh has finally been overpowered.
This heart that has already lost hope and dead through the passage of disappointments has finally been revived.
The moment of decision to let go all without turning back is about to solidify has finally been softened to hold on.
Seeking You so earnestly for an answer, at least a tinge of Your assurance has finally been made through a divine message from an unfamiliar facet.
Yet who would be the one who truly be in my shoes and understand the real me through and through?

✝The Real Me✝

Foolish heart looks like we're here again
Same old game of plastic smile
Don't let anybody in
Hiding my heartache, will this glass house break
How much will they take before I'm empty
Do I let it show, does anybody know?

But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me
Painted on, life is behind a mask
Self-inflicted circus clown
I'm tired of the song and dance
Living a charade, always on parade
What a mess I've made of my existence
But you love me even now
And still I see somehow
But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me

Wonderful, beautiful is what you see
When you look at me
You're turning the tattered fabric of my life into
A perfect tapestry
I just wanna be me
But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I'm loosening my grasp
There's no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me
And you love me just as I am
Wonderful, beautiful is what you see
When you look at me

✝Oblivion✝

Like the wave being tossed and turned
Neither here nor there calling unknown
I seek I find I desire my purpose to reveal
Yet standing lost I ponder my true existence.

Over the past there’s no room left for me
Therefore as I stepped into the future uncertain
With faith I boldly stood across the line
Yet still I found no place being the odd once more.

Memoirs of reminiscence I yearned so much for
Have I lost the true meaning of my life
Or am I just remaining for the sake of it all?
In You I’m still trying hard press on forth.

Help me Lord as I stand firm in You in love
That I may not lose out in the race in the midst
Holding me back is all I could possibly cling on
Will this truly last me through and through?

Sturdy as it’s shown on the exterior I portray
A lonely and lost soul cries out from deep within
Wishing things could be better I don’t know how
So will I forfeit heavily at the end of the day?

✝Ever Sheltering Wing✝

“He will shield you with his wings. He will shelter you with his feathers.”
(Psalm 91:4)

From how many winds is God protecting you? His wing, at this moment, shields you. A slanderous critic heading toward your desk is interrupted by a phone call. A burglar en route to your house has a flat tire. A drunk driver runs out of gas before your car passes his. God, your guardian, protects you from

“every trap” (Ps. 91:3);
“the fatal plague” (Ps. 91:3);
“the plague that stalks in darkness” (Ps. 91:6);
“the terrors of the night…the dangers of the day” (Ps. 91:5).
One translation boldly promises: “Nothing bad will happen to you” (Ps. 91:10 NCV).

“Then why does it?” someone erupts. “Explain my job transfer. Or the bum who called himself my dad. Or the death of our child.” If God is our guardian, why do bad things happen to us?

Have they? Have bad things really happened to you? You and God may have different definitions for the word bad.

God views your life the way you view a movie after you’ve read the book. When something bad happens, you feel the air sucked out of the theater. Everyone else gasps at the crisis on the screen. Not you. Why? You’ve read the book. You know how the good guy gets out of the tight spot. God views your life with the same confidence. He’s not only read your story…he wrote it. His perspective is different, and his purpose is clear.

God uses struggles to toughen our spiritual skin.

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. (James 1:2–4)

Trust him. “But when I am afraid, I put my trust in you” (Ps. 56:3). Join with Isaiah, who resolved, “I will trust in him and not be afraid” (Isa. 12:2).

God is directing your steps and delighting in every detail of your life (Ps. 37:23–24). In fact, that’s his car pulling over to the side of the road. That’s God opening the door. And that’s you climbing into the passenger seat.

There now, don’t you feel safer knowing he is in control?

By: Max Lucado

✝Unsaid✝

Fears lingers in the mind like never before
Where even uncertainties resounds unendingly
So much that it has tire me with all ‘your’ probing
Laden me no more I plead tearfully, will ‘you’?

Just a mere word from ‘you’ ever since then
Wrecking all passions and dreams once held
Making all concerns and thoughts so insignificant
As 'you' magnify ‘your’ points and unsaid rid-off.

Ever once I tried standing strong fighting all I can
Yet through the passage of time I begin to resign.
Nothing else holds any further meaning despite all
Perhaps I should just let go of all I once cherished…