✝Remembrance✝

Sudden hit of thoughts throw me in shock
Dawning me was what I’ve been fearing most.
If all this while I’ve been living in pack of lies?
Yet comprehending that was said I never know.

As frightened I’ll be worn off one day
But clinging onto a word I gave I refused to
So filled are the pool of thoughts unexpressed
No longer I know how else I could head.

Looking up this heart of mine as 15^th draw close
So different it has become ever since it’s so
Covering and blinding with works of many sorts
Not to recall I try so hard as little things bypass.

On the path of recollection walking home alone
Is there any way I could let quietness be obedient?
The overflowing tears in the dark cloudy night
How can I ever stop them from falling once more?

† Prayer of Need †

I need just that little power to stand upon my life plan…
I need just that little faith to believe what has been promised…
I need just that little strength to pull me through what needs to…
I need just that little assurance to accept what’s coming my way…
I need just that little love to know nothing will ever change…

I need just that little wisdom to say all that I need to…
I need just that little courage to bring it across to you…
I need just that little time to cherish all that I possessed…
I need just that little sureness to know it’s from you…
I need just that little push to move forward bit by bit…

I just need………

† Uncertain †

Thoughts and feelings of all sorts poured
Finally life sets in as how it was intended.
To no avail I gave up speaking what I desire
As unsettled as I am will you even listen?

Streaming along this path of many “not’s”
Trying to justify my way I saw impossibilities.
So deep in state of mind I’m consumed in
As though surroundings has faded away itself.

Unsure if this would last till the very end
Or would just altogether change as it reveal.
Wishing every state would just remain as it is
Praying for the better nothing else I could do.

Words filled so much of me I want to voice
But I know I can’t say until the day comes.
Not knowing how much you could accept it
Promises of hope I hold diminishes in sight.

† Recall †

Never perceiving all would be so
Remain as how we were contented I was.
Yet upon confession everything differs
As fear and bliss grew in contradiction.

In steps I walk I’m learning to trust
Know not what future holds I pray against.
To live to serve with you I felt so blessed
Yet slowly it unfolds will waiting resolve it?

Recognized the permissibility of all of it
Are we really the one I begin to ask?
Acknowledge efforts you’ve been trying
But couldn’t help but tracks of tears formed.

Holding on to you the best I’m giving
Though I knew it could be to no avail.
An attitude a prayer a good will of another
Defines love in fashion of simplicity.

✝Shadow✝

Dusk break I enter all quietness again
Yet why does the silence tonight seems so scary?
All truth breaks through as I realistically listen
Victim of intense pain birthed from a sincere trust.

Without the faintest idea of what it could be
Perhaps I shouldn’t have even believed since then.
Played tag with the fuzzy realities of pain
We can’t even answer our question of love and hurt.

Not bitter frowns but with extended hands I desire
To cover all secrets and lies that all surrounds.
Innocent drops of tears filling a whole bucket full
Heal my heart that bleeds tears as time passes.

No words but façade of disappointment says it all
Embracing present forgoing the past I released.
Trying to pluck myself out of this river of anguish
For strength and warmth to enter within.

✝Wait✝

Alone I spent under the gleam of that moonlight
Eyes gazed upon adoring the ever twinkling ‘faces’.
Through the tranquility of such cloudy night
In expectancy I wait for the coming of your presence.

With what you’ve yet fully comprehend I believe
Thoughts of such has long linger in this mind.
As vivid flashbacks’ running through the mind
So afraid I am with all possible brokenness on you.

Life in paradise of beauty I’ve long stayed
Perhaps it’s prime for reality check I should.
What’s racing within so much I wish to voice
Unbearably I know its impossibilities ‘coz I can’t.

Regrets deeply set for all doubts incurred
In you I’ve caused all fears and anxieties.
Yet with every tinge of patience and care
You embraced them with such delicate words.

A bona fide statement of your very heart
Enthralling me was your undying presence.
Reminiscing moments of all sizes and flavors
Gratitude fills me for all acceptance poured.

When shimmer of hope has made its way
How I wish all things could just remain dormant.
But with blind oblivion of time that halts not
I no longer knew how brutal that truth will be.

✝Recollection✝

Passage of time we walked through ever since
Until then when question could no long hold.
When all transparency was shattered into pieces
As honesty and concerns left me battling within.

Ever praying to break through that heart’s door
Persisting from distance that caused so much strain.
Just when the clock strikes for all to let go
Once again imprisoned I am in this confession.

Little did I know I’m not alone in this race
Foolishly I thought I was on the one-sided track.
Yet things took a turn and never the same again
Leaving behind roadblocks of fears and uncertainties.

Recalling painful past of the broken trust
Creeping in slowly with no support of future: fear.
Experience of bygone will you forgive me?
Element to cross the barrier over to you is chrono.

With no guarantee of what’s coming our way
Yet clinging onto it I still want to place my faith.
Despite one and only conclusive outcome
Embrace of assurance become such a necessity.

Through the ray of light that penetrates so
Where all true feelings revealed caress covered
The strength the truth of your profession
All will be apparent through the test of time.

Couldn’t see how next step would be like
So afraid I am what’s left is just hurt.
Was all just like a shifting shadow of amore
Or one that will sustain on deliberate effort?