† Hideous †

Led me to my mind these messages of sincerity
So much belief I gave upon the trueness said
But when the truth reveals the cries resounds
Your words your promises I trusted so fully.

Hiding them in the dark corner of my heart
So afraid I am of the reopening of scar.
As deep as I gave my words of assurance
No longer I knew how to differentiate anymore.

Yet as hard as I can I’m pressing on
Still believing in you to turn a new leaf
As grace pours so overflowing with no condition
Will this belief still stand over time without change?

So many guarantees given ever since then
Yet does all still remain valid if you could recall them?
Does all truly solidifies upon a firm foundation
Or just a momentary spur of conclusion to appease?

✝Remembrance✝

Sudden hit of thoughts throw me in shock
Dawning me was what I’ve been fearing most.
If all this while I’ve been living in pack of lies?
Yet comprehending that was said I never know.

As frightened I’ll be worn off one day
But clinging onto a word I gave I refused to
So filled are the pool of thoughts unexpressed
No longer I know how else I could head.

Looking up this heart of mine as 15^th draw close
So different it has become ever since it’s so
Covering and blinding with works of many sorts
Not to recall I try so hard as little things bypass.

On the path of recollection walking home alone
Is there any way I could let quietness be obedient?
The overflowing tears in the dark cloudy night
How can I ever stop them from falling once more?

† Prayer of Need †

I need just that little power to stand upon my life plan…
I need just that little faith to believe what has been promised…
I need just that little strength to pull me through what needs to…
I need just that little assurance to accept what’s coming my way…
I need just that little love to know nothing will ever change…

I need just that little wisdom to say all that I need to…
I need just that little courage to bring it across to you…
I need just that little time to cherish all that I possessed…
I need just that little sureness to know it’s from you…
I need just that little push to move forward bit by bit…

I just need………

† Uncertain †

Thoughts and feelings of all sorts poured
Finally life sets in as how it was intended.
To no avail I gave up speaking what I desire
As unsettled as I am will you even listen?

Streaming along this path of many “not’s”
Trying to justify my way I saw impossibilities.
So deep in state of mind I’m consumed in
As though surroundings has faded away itself.

Unsure if this would last till the very end
Or would just altogether change as it reveal.
Wishing every state would just remain as it is
Praying for the better nothing else I could do.

Words filled so much of me I want to voice
But I know I can’t say until the day comes.
Not knowing how much you could accept it
Promises of hope I hold diminishes in sight.

† Recall †

Never perceiving all would be so
Remain as how we were contented I was.
Yet upon confession everything differs
As fear and bliss grew in contradiction.

In steps I walk I’m learning to trust
Know not what future holds I pray against.
To live to serve with you I felt so blessed
Yet slowly it unfolds will waiting resolve it?

Recognized the permissibility of all of it
Are we really the one I begin to ask?
Acknowledge efforts you’ve been trying
But couldn’t help but tracks of tears formed.

Holding on to you the best I’m giving
Though I knew it could be to no avail.
An attitude a prayer a good will of another
Defines love in fashion of simplicity.