✝Excruciating✝

By the moon marks the beginning and the end
Tears fill this façade as memories swept across
So true my heart was ever since the start of time
How far do ‘you’ know this deep misses within?

Moment as embrace released I knew I’ve to let go
Slowly ‘your’ back and shadow fades into darkness
Gradually I watch as the departure wrecking me so
Yet when I need are ‘you’ still willing to be there?

After all predestined to walk alone I’ve no choice
Lost all support to continue who will lend a hand?
Searching for all sorts to numb this pain incurred
How long will I remain in before I resigned totally?

Awakened from fantasy I once assuredly dwelled
Thus found no familiarity only strangers around
Enclosed with two statements for all prices paid
Can I trust the word of waiting from inside out?

What an utter joke of my life You have made.
Crashing the hope of my only resolve I concede
Stop it all with all my heart I plead will You?
As unsure of what can heal my heart anymore.

✝Shoulder✝

Shattered into pieces my soul has become
Just a support I yearned result to nothing
Laid down my pride in transparency I said
Hoping for tinge of caress who’d understand?

Thus deep inconsistence is the words and acts
Your given promises seemingly distant it feels
View through this heart what truly holds within
Despite many chances I could not see myself.

How much longer can I ever cling on strong?
Losing the strength to continue in midst of all
Tell me why the harder I try the further it goes
Before I’m taken captive by what’s lingering so.

You saw the pain yet abandoned me in fear
As thought I’d not stray far from the sidewalk
With waterfall of tears soaked wet my pillow
Every night in my sleep do you ever know?

✝Mess✝

Traces of insanities haunt the very soul of mine
Inside out I’m drained by the covered plastic smiles
What an utter mess I’ve made of my significance
Yet for a love I’m unworthy of still lavished upon.

Always on parade of the demands of life unending
How much more will they imbibe before I’m empty?
Frightened by the fact of no hands I could hold on
Losing my total self with that thwart senseless acts.

In total fear of a hope I dare not harbor any longer
Arraigned for an offence of emptiness finally raised.
For “I” and “It” is a mere margin different of a “t”
Beyond words spoken what truly holds the heart?

Endeavoring to stand strong in midst of such chaos
For just a little portion of dedication so difficult to
Laboring in sustaining from the shattering of frailty
Yet does all this given room for understanding at all?

✝Deadlock✝

Laid down my pride I seek utmost forgiveness
For the foolishness of my anger released upon
Awakened by the daunting truth of my wrong
By this deadlock I’m left stranded, struggling.

In due of a broken promise I turned my spirit
Exonerate me for the murder of the very heart
Lost myself totally to the immoderate passion
So envious as I witness the path of your desire.

Would it be better if everything were to reverse?
Returning to its state of original I ponder deeply
Just where pursuit of dream can be maximized
As the best of all worlds are not within grasp.

✝Tranquilizer✝

Having to relinquish the ever so precious to me
Inflicted the core of me never can I lay my hands on
Tranquilized I am to put all of them behind me
Missing so much of ‘you’ has it tingled your heart?

Ever dreaming for the realization of a desired pursuit
Yet stealing away this immense I forcefully accept
Could only swallow hard for better plan You claimed
For the thwart of my plans when would it finally fit in?

Pool of memories framed in heart of reminiscence
But so different the path taken is it still permissible?
Further I consider the more I should release ‘you’ to soar
Though pain was my heart as I held ever so tightly on.

✝Strain✝

In the silence of my heart I fail to avoid
Time and time again it just comes back
A lullaby of all misses resounds endlessly
But whenever it calls my heart just relent.

Embraced by the serenity of the night sky
Flowing from within was what has been bottled
Behind the façade of all sorts of smiles
Hides the pain of this vulnerable heart.

When will this ever stop I cried out so
Inflicting more pain and longing than it has
Left with a undying string of connection
Ever considering if severity would be the best.

Gracefully I pray for the stars to stay watch
‘Cause moments of such darkness scares me
More than I asked for: the beauty of the moon
As the clouds clears its way off from vagueness.

Memories exist for all my precious days
Deep inside me somewhere I want to keep
With all having within your own comfort
Has it already been assumed to be for you?

In oblivion ever thought all would be going fine
Yet revelation of truth gets so crystal clear:
The fact of living in a difference of two worlds
Despite trying with all strength and heart.

After a test of being in a place of two arenas
Finally I realized my belonging was totally lost
Beginning to fear the many scenes of falsity
How would everything turn out to be eventually?

✝Tears of Assurance✝

<Jeremiah 29:11-14a>
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD,

<Psalm 94:18-19>
When I said, "My foot is slipping,"
your love, O LORD, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought joy to my soul.